Today is a shitty day. My head hurts. My back hurts. My soul hurts.
So I guess it’s no real surprise these lyrics popped into my head...
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
I never realized I was spread too thin
'Till it was too late
And I was empty within
Hungry!
Feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral
And I was empty within
Hungry!
Feeding on chaos and living in sin
Downward spiral
Where do I begin?
Read more: Papa Roach - Last Resort Lyrics | MetroLyrics
I honestly don’t think I’ve ever listened to the real song, I only know it as part of a Weird Al polka.... and it sounds a lot more fun in that! But these words resonate with me on so many levels, especially today.
Kids are pushing all the buttons and I’m ready to strangle one of them.... yesterday was all about her, so she thinks that our whole life is about her.... she’s always been that way, first born child maybe? Or slack ass mum who CBF arguing? I just can’t handle her shit! If she doesn’t get what she wants it’s tantrum city! Like full on screaming, squealing, kicking, throwing things.... but it’s only me who cops it! Well, 90% of the time I guess, cos sometimes there’ll be someone else around when she explodes. Of course she’s little miss perfect child at school... probably a good thing though, cos I couldn’t handle dealing with the school for that. I don’t even know what to do with her, let alone give anyone else strategies!
I try to be understanding of their situation. Life changed drastically for us in the blink of an eye, and they just don’t have the emotional capacity to understand it. But right now I don’t either! What’s that saying - “you can’t pour from an empty cup”.... the only thing in my cup is bitterness and alcohol... a nasty combination.
I know that they’re just kids, and they struggle with emotions. And I’m not mad at them. I love them more than anything in the world. I wouldn’t be in this mess if I didn’t. I’m mad at the selfish asshole acts of their dad. Someone who was meant to look after us and provide for us. Someone who was meant to be safe... instead I’m left picking up the pieces and trying to build us a normal, safe life that doesn’t include him. And it fucking sux!
I try to be understanding of their situation. Life changed drastically for us in the blink of an eye, and they just don’t have the emotional capacity to understand it. But right now I don’t either! What’s that saying - “you can’t pour from an empty cup”.... the only thing in my cup is bitterness and alcohol... a nasty combination.
I know that they’re just kids, and they struggle with emotions. And I’m not mad at them. I love them more than anything in the world. I wouldn’t be in this mess if I didn’t. I’m mad at the selfish asshole acts of their dad. Someone who was meant to look after us and provide for us. Someone who was meant to be safe... instead I’m left picking up the pieces and trying to build us a normal, safe life that doesn’t include him. And it fucking sux!
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