Do you remember what you wanted to be when you grew up? When you were a little kid and you had a dream? I can't actually remember that far back... but I remember a few different careers I had planned out - architect, singer, stay at home "Brady Bunch" mum... It wasn't an amazing customer service assistant or a social worker...
After much deliberation and several conversations with friends, I have finally taken the plunge and applied to go back to uni next year! Not only did I apply, but I was accepted!! So in February, I will be studying my Masters in Social Work part time. Yep, little old me who is constantly running late and rushing around like an idiot trying to get things done, is going to add an extra level of crazy to our lives! Why you ask??! Well, the first answer that springs to mind is “cos I’m an idiot” who even does that to them self? But the real reason is, I’m ready to do something more.
My current job was only meant to get me through uni. The first time. I finished that degree 11 years ago... I did actually make it to the end! I got my Bachelor of Education, but I only had temporary teaching jobs and well, there were some less than pleasant experiences in there. I think a lot of that can be attributed to my lack of confidence. I couldn't cope, and I couldn't get the support I needed. So I stayed working retail because I knew what I was doing and I was useful there. But I need more of a challenge in my life (ha! yeah good one, as if I haven't been challenged enough right?!) I need to make a difference to the world. I also need to improve my financial situation, because clearly my plan of winning $80M lottery is not working out.... of course studying means I'll be adding more debt to my life, but that's a future problem!
The scariest thing about doing this is the placement. I have to do two lots of 500 hours!! I don't think I've even committed that much time to playing Zelda games on Nintendo! I hate new and unfamiliar situations - probably why I've stayed working in the same place for so long. But I also know that I am waaay more willing to try new things now, and I will back myself in whatever I do. No one is making me do this. It wasn't like finishing school and everyone in my class HAD to apply to uni... this is me making an adult choice to do something for me and my babies. This is me saying 'why the heck not?!' The time is going to pass anyway, I might as well do something useful with myself.
I am also very aware of the fact that I am a skilled procrastinator!! I leave things to the last minute. Part of that is because I'm so afraid of failing, I convince myself that I'll fail whether I do it a week in advance or I do a half-ass job the night before. But, I'm hoping to change that. I've already applied and set up my student account!! Admittedly it is my old account so there wasn't much work involved... but it's done. I've looked up the subjects too, but it's too early to actually enroll in any. I just hope I stay this interested and motivated when the time to start rolls around.
I may be freaking out just a little about how I'll actually cope with everything, but I won't know until I try. And I've made it this far through all of this crap life has thrown at me, so what's the worst that can happen??
But if anyone wants to volunteer to be my housekeeper/nanny I wont say no!
Failing that, I'm taking donations for a dishwasher :p
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