Why I need wine...

It’s no secret that I like my wine! I have a glass beside me right now - but you’re not surprised by that fact are you... What may surprise you is that I don’t need wine for my witty comebacks and funky dance moves! Oh no, they are aaaaalll me! Why I really need wine is because I suck at being an adult. My mum would say that’s a cop out, no one NEEDS wine... and maybe she’s right. I don’t NEED it! But there’s plenty of things that make me want to crack a bottle open and pour it down my throat. No need for glasses, that makes unnecessary washing up! And I’m not planning on leaving any in the bottle....

So my reasons:
1. Being an adult is hard! You have to make decisions and be responsible and set an example for your kids. And feed your kids. And remember that you have kids....

2. Said kids are jerks! Like are those flappy things on the side of their heads just ornamental?! When does the listening and responding accordingly kick in?

3. Housework! Seriously, how many people are living in my house without my knowledge?! There are waaaaay too many cups in the sink for just 3 of us. Especially since the little punks never even drink from cups!

4. I’m bored. I know, wine!

5. I’m watching TV, better get some wine...

6. Just mowed the lawn, better celebrate with a wine.

7. Having dinner with friends, obviously involves wine.

8. I know it’s in the fridge.... I can hear it calling me! You can’t ignore the wine.

9. My kid got in trouble at school. Again. I don’t know how to help him, so I’ll just drink some wine and pretend there’s no problem!

10. Work was hard. Customers are so needy! Maybe we should serve wine in the lunch room, surely it could only make the day better...

11. It’s Friday!! Or Sunday, or well, any day really! Who even needs a reason?

I’m sure I could come up with any number of other reasons if I sat here long enough. But you get it - I like wine! Wine doesn’t answer back. Or ask questions. Or tell lies. Wine just comforts me and understands me.

What made you wine today?